[ Stuff ]

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Actually i contemplated writing something serious for this entry but withdrew it on second thought as i know it would show my weaknesses that i try oh-so-hard to hide. Anyway i had Physics remedial but it wasn't forced as i had very willingly attended the lesson of my own accord, i flunked my Physics remember?
Then went home with Lynette whom i guess was feeling in the 'bull-shitting' mood and both of us really said all that was non-sensical and crappy.
On the bus, I was watching this fashion show when i turned to Lynette and said 'You know what, [this particular teacher], has a really bad sense of fashion', she nodded her head in total agreement and was like 'Ya, ya...' and i continued on saying 'Some teachers just don't look good,' and she said in reply 'Ya, remember this [particular top the teacher was wearing last time], you know if you put it on Mischa Barton it would look gorgeous,' I laughed, nodding my head furiously and she continued on saying 'Imagine how it would look on Lana Lang,' I quickly replied 'Use the name Kristin Kreuk! Kriiiisssstttiiinnn Krreuuukkk!' i went on to say 'How bout' imagining it on some one closer to home... hmmm, like Ms Koh,' She chuckled and went on to say that Ms Koh would also look good and something about Ms Koh's and Ms Goh's hair, but i distinctly remembered saying 'I have forgotten the last time Ms Koh let down her hair, and i have completely forgotten what it looks like!' haha, after which we both decided to make fun of the stereotype American-accented blondes
'I was like... doing this, and oh my God, it was like so bad......' imitated Lynette cracking me up, wasn't the first time she did it though, after which i decided to give a go 'Oh my God, Lynette! You're like so irritating, like really irritating, oh my God, like stop it...' haha, i think we sounded really bimbotic but we had a good laugh before our fun had to abruptly end as Lynette to go down the bus which annoyingly kept breaking down.
There's probably bits and pieces of the conversation missing because i can't include all parts, anyway , i gotta go eat my bar of chocolate that's melting due to this relatively long entry i'm typing, anyway, as usual, xoxo Heather

5:30 PM; MUSICfanatic, KNOWitY

Monday, February 27, 2006

I just realised how monotonous it is to read some one's blog in which all they ever do is talk about school... Oh btw i realised what Ms Koh seems to be chewing perpetually... gum, haha, weirdly enough. i thought she was just eating a snack or something, never did realised it was gum. Anyway, just read Amirul's blog, not tt i know him of course, just chanced upon it and thought it was so much fun reading it cause half the time he's bull-shitting... haha. Anyway, not a bad day, just got out of the room to stare at my lil brother who was screaming at the phone for God knows what reason, really annoying me.
And oh right, talked to Ms Lim yesterday and she researched on self-injurious behaviour, and the book she had was so darn accurate i'm wondering where she got it from. And you know what? i think i have a big ego... ok, maybe i DO have a big ego, i showed off my Chem paper for the whole world to see, exhibiting arrogance which probably annoyed many, sorry about that though, haha, was too over-excited and ecstatic too care what people thought then. I wish i was a little less hyper sometimes, though it's part of who i am, making me unique. haha, but hang on... i'm also very klutzy, i can lose my balance just standing still, weirdly enough.
Actually, i've got plenty to say this time, many of which aren't nice cause it involves condemning some people, not teachers though, haha, cause i think that they're the greatest. Anyway gotta eat my Crunchie bar and check if there's Smallville today.
xoxo Heather

P.S. leave a tag if you can, flood my chatterbox, i don't care, haha

5:20 PM; MUSICfanatic, KNOWitY

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Sorry for not blogging for so long.. cant blame me cause my internet kept going berserk... anyway had a lot of things happening, had Common Test this week, so far only gotten back Physics which i failed miserably in because the paper was so darn difficult, but i studied ok! Ms Goh spent at least one period telling me that i didn't do as badly as the rest, she was checking through the paper telling me that i did quite ok, and she added a mark! haha, but not out of sympathy [i hope not]. Oh and i'm trying to remember what happened last week... Oh yes, i was about to bitch about a certain someone last week, but didn't happen cause my laptop's keys were really ruined and i couldn't type. Oh and i just spent the last 3 hours or so playing Warcraft III, not a bad game though, gets a bit monotonous after a while, building, killing, building, killing, building... you get what i mean. Planned to have a sleepover at Jillene's house but didn't quite happen as i wanted to go home and sleep in my OWN bed instead. Also went ice-skating, and guess what... i felt flat on my butt with all limbs facing the sky [or rather the ceiling in this sense], but quite an improvement seeing i was a bit more daring and could skate a little faster, im still quite bad at roller-blading though which is weird cause the 2 are inter-related.
Oh and i just watched Walk The Line, the one with Joaquin Phoenix and Reese Witherspoon... i thought it was great but a bit slow-moving for me, at the same time i munched the cookies my mum baked yesterday and they taste uncannily like Famous Amos, haha. Oh, and i HAVEN'T watched a single episode of Smallville for the whole of this week, i'm so deprived of Super Villains and Super Heroes... Sigh, and when in the world is Smallville Season 5 going to come out in Singapore? i'm gonna kill Mediacorp i tell you if they don't air it or if they do air it but at a time i can't watch it.
What else did i want to say, hmm... Oh right, going to have French tuition tomorrow, and my teacher's a real French, at least that's what my mum told me cause i haven't met the teacher yet, i hope she's nice and not like those stereotypes Ms prim and proper kind of French teacher.
Shucks... i really have forgotten all i wanted to say the last 2 weeks... Sigh... never mind, tell you when i do remember, anyway gonna go, xoxo Heather

4:55 PM; MUSICfanatic, KNOWitY

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Ok, just a quick entry... i had visitors over yesterday and they were a really naughty bunch, seeing as they were all kids and a few with serious mental problems... anyway as the kids [or rather baby goats as Chang Ling calls them] kept annoying me yesterday, i tried my darndest to keep them from typing on my keyboard stuff that didn't make sense... in the end i got fed-up [as usual] and screamed at them... i pushed them out of my room one by one and locked the door firmly behind me, they however realised that the key to my bedroom was in the most obvious place ever, my doorknob... they struggled with the keys, trying to open my door but unfortunately for them, you need to use pliers to turn the keys 180 degrees before it opens. so in the end, my Mum did me a favour and asked them to quit bothering me [thank goodness]. And i ate quite a lot yesterday... mostly popiah and some snacks, so i was quite full.
Anyway, the party officially ended at like 7 the morning when the adults ended their mahjong sessions, but truth be truth, i absolutely detest gambling with money. I mean whoever created Blackjack or Mahjong must be outta of their mind. Ok, i shan't rattle on, my computer's lagging and... i have a ton of homework and lots of revising to do before 6 if i want to catch Smallville that is. gtg, xoxo Heather...

4:05 PM; MUSICfanatic, KNOWitY

Friday, February 10, 2006

Let me do the things i wanna do, Like singing without you making fun of me... or talking about things that i like talking about... or shouting expletives across the room without you scolding me, i have freedom of speech after all. Anyway, i have been extremely snappy today, must be the lack of sleep snowballing from one day to another. Poor Lynette, she had to take all my nonsense and tolerate my extreme mood-swings. I guess i'm just a little stressed out, AND lacking of SLEEP!
I went out to lunch with Xiang and co today. I was throwing a fit about the choice of place, i had no intention whatsoever of going into a wet [it rained] kopitiam and eat. In the end we all settled on KFC, and i ordered quite a lot... i couldn't finish my cheese fries because it was getting grosser by the second and i was getting so full, i would have puked... And then we contemplated visiting Ms Lim, and Xiang made me call her 3 times. Unfortunately, as i predicted, she wasn't home as she was at school which was really no surprise since IT IS after all the releasing of the O Level results. Anyway, Ms Lim said she was going out after that anyway so no point visiting her [but i think that its more like her home being extremely messy]
Which reminds me, i have my own common test to worry about. Mr Tan gave me a thick revision worksheet for the common test, while Ms Wang and Ms Tan gave us more work than usual. Actually... come to think about it, its about the same amount of HW everyday... hmm, oh and Ms Wang talked to me while i was standing outside the classrooms waiting for Xiang Yu, Natasha and Janice to emerge from the classroom after their presumably dreadful Literature test. Back to my point, Ms Wang was talking to me about how she noticed i got all jittery during tests [no matter how insignificant they were]. She said i should treat it as an everyday thing, which in more ways than one i agree with [i'm gonna have a lifetime of tests/exams coming my way]. She said i knew my stuff but just that i go haywire during the tests. Anyway she gave me advice on timing myself and all which is good because in my opinion if i can't beat it, at least i can control it to a certain extent.
Oh and guess what? i got 9.5/15 for my Geography Elect test, i was sorta of happy but at the same time disappointed because i didn't have good time management resulting in me losing a lot of marks for the questions i never fully answered... AND not to mention i wrecked my brain just studying for the test alone. Mrs Yeo could have at least given me sympathy marks for my last question, even though i admit i answered it halfway.
I almost forgot, i met Gernaine on the bus and chatted with her, then she stuffed one side of her earplugs into my ears and guess what it was playing. Jay Chou's 'Qi Li Xiang' or something like that, but it was a great song, except i had no idea what Jay Chou was singing [although i think it's probably my Chinese thats the problem here].
Ok gtg, tell you more about when i do remember what i wanna write. xoxo Heather

P.S Pardon me for my horrid english, im a tad too tired...

6:40 PM; MUSICfanatic, KNOWitY

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

I failed my friggin' test, great... oh my freaking gosh, i know the formulas and all but i always make really stupid mistakes. Oh and guess what? During my E Math test, i was so freaked out i kept muttering to myself [or rather for the ppl around me to hear] 'Fuck, fuck, fuck this stupid qtn...' oh my gosh, the first time i ever linked so many expletives into one bloody sentence. And after the test i shouted aloud for the whole world to hear 'Fuck the stupid Math test'. I'm very sure i'm gonna fail my E Math, i already failed my A Math. You know i really should stop swearing and cursing so much, it reflects badly on me, but im proud that i didn't really swear today... actually the only day where i cursed and swore like mad was E Math Test day...
Anyway i CANNOT believe that Edward actually tried to console me when i started crying because of my Math test [i didn't want to cry, but you knw me... over-emotional], he was like 'Take it easy... It's only a Math Test'... Cheryl [Tan] on the otherhand consoled me too but at the same time asking Edward to shut up cause she thinks he's making it worse, but whatever, I'm not really sure anyway... And Ian, actually took my water-bottle to the Boy's Toilet and God knows what he did to it... when i asked he was like 'I raped your water-bottle'... if i weren't practising self-control, i would have chopped his head off, using the new technique i learnt at Taekwando...
Oh by the way, Taekwando really left me with a lot of sore muscles but it was fun even though the instructor said it was the 'Warm-up of all warm-ups'. haha, WHATEVER! Don't think just because you black-belt can try to scare us, ok?
Oh and this week is really crappy, got so many tests, and i think i failed every friggin' one of them. But the tests can go to hell right now, cause i ain't in the best of moods [obvious right?]. Oh and we had this stupid performance about Sun Wukong and his Jin Gu Bang... super lame i tell you... if it weren't for the phony make-up and costumes perhaps i would have liked it... oh and the dialogue was horrid, they can't speak proper English for nuts...
Oh... and Ms Lim... please, please come back... WHY QUIT!!! better than being super kong xian and having nothing to do right??!! I cannot walk pass the staffroom without feeling sad now... AHHHHH!!!!
Which reminds me... after Ms Lim left, many are speculating that Ms Koh's gonna leave next... i hope not though... I REALLY HOPE NOT!!! BUT only Ms Koh can confirm that right now or... maybe i should ask Ms Lim... DUNNO LAR!!! I'm just damn annoyed at all this nonsense about teachers leaving and all. Maybe I'm annoyed because, again, i didn't know Ms Lim was giving English Tuition until Xiang Yu and Natasha told me so... Oh God! Why am i so left out!!!
Argh... i shouldn't blame anyone for my plight... after all, im the 'Blur-est' of them all... Oh and now that i'm feeling a tad better after typing all this, i apologise for certain expletives i used in the course of writing this entry... it was just to illustrate how frustrated i am and i know im not exactly writing in proper English... anyway, gtg... don't want my Mum catching me on the computer... xoxo Heather

5:05 PM; MUSICfanatic, KNOWitY

Sunday, February 05, 2006

One summary, two types of Math HW, and three tests... Great... on alternate weeks i get bombarded with tonnes of homework and tests, BUT i have yet to get used to it. Anyway i'm supposed to be doing my English summary HW but unfortunately, when you have a big, heavy and distracting laptop sitting right in front of you... it can be a problem. Haha, i decided to switch it on and see who's online on MSN, not many ppl now, most of which are probably at Church.
I also decided to visit Ms Lim's blog which i found after going through 500 blogs in God knows how many hours, but in the end, i realised that i could just ask her, yes, very simply ask her... Gosh, i'm dumb. Anyway, her entries are really long but i found it quite weird when she refers to the teachers i know by their first names... im just not used to it.
Oh and Math tuition today was a complete bore. My tuition teacher was going through Sets and Factor and Remainder Theorem, and i spent most of the time drawing graves, roses and the Grim Reaper... the only time when i actually drew something happy was when i got my sugar rush from eating a whole roll of gummies, three quarters of Fruitella, and many Choco Babies. Right...
Which reminds me, i have to do my summary and practice questions for the E. Math test tomorrow [i can't actually study the subject] before 6, mainly because i would be watching Smallville. Oh and i think i've pretty much gotten over Hilary Duff, because now my new obsession has become Smallville and its gorgeous cast... well, im guessing that this change of interests is most probably and really possibly a new stage of Teenage-hood. Double the trouble for everyone else around me.
And, I'm hoping that i will finally become a little braver and less awkward. I don't want to look back on my Secondary School years and regret things... In fact i regret not being a little braver last yr. And also i really used to look forward to Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays because i had Literature and Geography on those days, but i didn't make clear my gratitude, and that's something that im regretting. Anyway, here's a poem i made up, and i know its mediocre, BUT BEAR WITH IT! i'm in one of those poetic moods.

Untitled [i couldn't think of a good one]
The words screaming out in my head
Nothing comes out of my mouth instead
And though i wished i had been a little braver
It's too late now to be a good player

And hoping isn't going to do much good
Unless i'm going to do something soon
Words aren't gonna be written in my food
I'm pretty much trapped in my own cocoon

Now they won't ever know
Cause' i didn't show
The way i felt inside

Ok, i know it's bad... and this is about one of the longest post i ever had, so forgive me if i'm completely boring you... but one thing i don't regret is saying what i never thought i would say on Friday[ For me to know, never for you to find out, except some alrdy know...] Drats, i think i should end this entry cause im starting to get lame... xoxo Heather

4:45 PM; MUSICfanatic, KNOWitY

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Ok... if i weren't so bored maybe i won't even be writing this entry because i wrote another one in the noon. But anyway, i feel pretty much the same as yesterday, depressed... it's been a pretty long and difficult week for me... or rather its just yesterday alone tt made me like this. Revelation, revelation, revelation, you actually realise the damage it does, to know more than you should... its really no wonder they say ignorance is bliss. And i also thought, the whole idea of growing up is just wrong, i don't want to grow up now, i just wanna remain a teen, no bills, no worries [except for hw/tests/exams]. And the weird part is, i used to want to grow up quickly, i wanted to be an adult with nobody to control you except the law. But now i realise tt being a kid is really a blessing, you have nothing to worry about, nothing burdens you... you don't give a damn to what goes on cause you won't understand it anyway which is good in some ways. But now as a teen, i understand many things and it's a burden.
I don't mind being in secondary school though. it has changed my perspective of many things, i used to think tt teachers could never ever be something more than just a educator, but i guess i was wrong... i think you all should knw what im talking about. anyway life's full of ups and downs, and i know i shouldn't feel as though its the end of the world... but, i can't help it, like i always say, i cannot control my emotions very well, if i hate you, well, i'll show it easily, and vice versa...
ok gtg, before i start writing any more stuff that doesn't make sense, right now i'm not exactly in a very good mood to write an entry, so forgive me. xoxo Heather

8:45 PM; MUSICfanatic, KNOWitY

Um... im not too proud of my last post where i was cursing and swearing so i deleted it, i guess i was pretty cranky last night. Anyway, i have to do my homework, and i'm not liking it, haha, and here's another list tt i thought of

5 Things I Should Do
1) Not curse and swear so much
2) Be nicer and less mean
3) Study much, much harder
4) Make up for my mistakes
5) Not do something without thinking of the consequences and regretting it later

Haha, i probably have a longer list... anyway, i know i should go back to church but i just don't want to... i've been avoiding this topic cautiously for a pretty long while, but i guess you can hide but you can't run away... haha, i think tt the whole depression thingy is gonna take some time to wear off so bear with me in the meantime. And you know what? i'm still ashamed of my last post which i deleted and to anyone who read it: SORRY.

1:05 PM; MUSICfanatic, KNOWitY

Friday, February 03, 2006

I think there's a high percentage of me remembering this day... many things happened in school today, actually the whole week. Remember how i was complaining about the visits to my relatives homes, well, it didn't turn out half bad... i actually liked it, and i met a handicapped dog who has no control over its hind legs at my Aunty's house. And besides it being handicapped, it moves faster than any ordinary dog could, and the funny part is that it's movement are like those of a fish out of water. Anyway, today i met Ms Koh 3 times, i think about the most times in a day... and each time i said hi, but my Jillene, Xiang Yu, and Natasha were laughing at me by the third, lol.
But sadly enough, today is also the day when Ms Lim leaves. And, i obviously showed how upset i was throughout the whole day... but after a talk with her in which i have no idea how i got the courage to say the things i never thought i would ever say, well, i felt better... haha, and i know she's probably gonna read this so, i would like to say for once i didn't regret not saying anything, actually i do a little,i cant express everything in words. Haha anyway i thought of this while i was in the shower

5 THINGS I'M MOST AFRAID OF:
1) WORMS!!!
2) Public-Speaking
3) Embarrassing myself in front of certain ppl
4) Me being totally unpresentable
5) Regretting things that i should have said/done but didn't

Maybe i have more fears than i think i have at the moment, but when i think of some more i'll tell you, haha, anyway i'll tell you more tt happened over the weeks, gtg xoxo Heather

9:10 PM; MUSICfanatic, KNOWitY